Excuse me, Mr. Kandaswamy...

...you suck. Period. No two ways about it. Batmanish vigilante superhero, whose day job as a CBI officer. Plot stirs some interest in you. When the movie , the interest evaporates. Right from the first frame.

I have no idea why Vikram chose such a movie. More specifically, why such a Director. The man is absolutely devoid of ideas. There is nothing in the movie that excite the cerebral audience or the front benchers. Tamil cinema is often accused of catering too much to the front gallery, but if this movie did even that, it would have been tolerable.

You get a sense of Deja Vu when the movie starts. A priest advising a troubled woman to right a letter to Lord Kandaswamy to help her. She does as advised and gets a packet of money the next day morning. Being the good samaritan she leaves it at the Police Station. Needless to say, the Inspector pockets it for himself. Since this looked like a job for a superhero, Vikram makes his entry. Dressed as some sort of Cock Man descending from the roof. Anniyan reloaded? Your fears are soon dispelled, he starts strutting around and making 'cocky' noises. Your reaction? What the fuck!

Then the plot plods on to show how the human Kandaswamy in his day job busts all the rich dudes with black money. Ashish Vidyarthi is one of the villains. He does a decent job but doesnt get to do much. Shriya is his scheming serpant of a daughter who eventually falls in love with Kandaswamy. She looked gorgeous with her short hair and all. So I will spare her the rod. If I get a chance may be not! Plot plods on and on in a boring meandering way. We learn that Kandaswamy is not alone. He has a big set of friends who setup the ambushes and help him categorise requests and give out money packets.

Then Kandaswamy goes to Mexico with Shriya. Mexico locales have been wasted, thanks to the Director devoid of any imagination. Mexico deserves its own paragraph since we witness the worlds dumbest bunch of thugs. Kandaswamy is tied up and blindfolded. There are 8-9 dudes around him with guns! Still they manage to lose, thanks to some "breathtaking" action and with a little (very little!) help of a friend plus the fact they decide to kill him with bare hands! You lose faith in humanity and decide to commit suicide.

The fact that I didn't can be attributed to some skin show by Shriya and the item dance towards the climax by Mumaith.

All in all a monumental waste of your time. Cuntswamy would be the apt name of the movie. The movie mercilessly saunters on for a cool 3.5 hours. Music is terrible and there are zero hummable songs. At Rs 170 a ticket, a monumental blunder by the six of us. Should have spent the money at some pub where we could have the seen the same amount of skin as in the movie.

Thrilling part of the night? Six of us cramped in an auto travelling nearly 10 KM at 1 AM!

Verdict: 3/10. Just for the skin and some cool camera work. Avoid at all costs. Not worth watching even on DVD. Just watch the trailer if you are really curious!

Bhramaram: The Disquieting Buzz

Cross posting from regular blog.

Watched Bhramaram last Sunday. I wanted to plonk down some multiplex money on the movie as the reports have been pretty good. But my fear of getting to know the entire story made we watch it while I was in Kerala. Money well spent and won't hesitate to watch it again from a plushy multiplex as opposed to the stench I subjected myself to watch the movie.

Bhramaram heralds the return of form for two people Malayalam cinema needs badly. Mohanlal and Blessy, with the latter being even more important. After a couple of woeful outings in the form of Red Chillies and Sagar Alias Jacky, Mohanlal returns what he does best. Acting, as opposed to dressing up and walking up and down.

The life of the movie is Mohanlal and its his show all the way. A good thing this time, as the other actors are at best par and many of them below par. The story is simple and the movie moves along at a crisp pace. The movie is about love, redemption, and revenge. Locations are fabulous and fresh. Camera work is superb and technically the movie is excellent.

The worst point in the movie for me was the annoying acting of the kid acting as Mohanlal's daughter. She spoils the drama and makes you cringe instead of sympathize. Movie could have been made crisper had Blessy avoided the song towards the end (which was pretty dumb in my opinion). He could have cut short the fight sequence or avoided it altogether. Blessy should have taken a queue from his teacher Padmarajan. In Thoovanathumbikal, not a single fight scene is present. Still we strongly feel that Jayakrishnan, the protagonist, is a tough nut. Screenplay could have been tighter and a little more fleshed out. These factors stop the movie from being an outright classic and one at par with the golden stuff our industry gave in the 80's. Movie does remind you of Thaazhvaaram, the classic revenge saga, but this stands a couple of feet shorter next to it due to the avoidable discrepancies.

Blessy's return to form is welcome after the disaster of Calcutta News. Me personally enjoyed Bhramaram more than Thanmaathra. Bold statement! May be its just me that feels the artificiality projected by happy families in Blessy's movies.

Verdict: Watch it! You certainly won't regret it!

What ice beneath!

via io9.com

io.com recollects 10 movies in which the evils lurks beneath ice! Click through for all movies. I love John Carpenter's Thing in this list. Get hold of it and watch if you haven't. Very apocalyptic and climax is brilliant!

Posted via web from Pain on the Posterior

Kaminey!

What a name for the first post of a new blog! As you may have already guessed, this is going to my movie review/preview/whatever blog. Yet another blog! Someday I am going to be rich by selling my blog network! Then again, AOL is sinking and I shouldn't keep my hopes up!

Anyways, back to our topic.

I read rave reviews of Kaminey, and a few of them insinuating that the movie is nothing special and reviews have been paid for. I decided to go and watch the movie.

This was my first movie at Rex in Brigade Road. 170 Rs is a bit too much if you ask me. Not remotely good as PVR, Innovative, or Inox.

Movie is the tale of two brothers. One good, one bad. The bread and butter of bollywood. But the treatment is what makes this movie special. For once, we don't get to see any opulent shit. No fancy bikes, no prancing around in Paris, and more importantly, no goody two-shoes heroine. What the movie has instead is splendid narration, vibrant characters, lot of goofiness, and witty dialogues.

There is no doubt that this is inspired by the Guy Ritchie classic, "Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels." Inspired as in really inspired and not ripped of completely like most inspired Bollywood movies. The similarity starts and ends with the basic narration, goofiness, and similar events.

Shahid Kapoor has performed really well as Guddu and Charlie, the twin brothers. He has showcased the Charlie's lisp and Guddu's stammer to perfection. I was especially impressed with his stammer and gets the most convincing stammerer award from a stammerer himself! Priyanka Chopra was brilliant as the street smart and loud girl friend of Guddu. Her fiery marathi tirade and boldness is convincing.

The movie really shines due to the excellent supporting characters. The guy who played Mr. Maharashtra was awesome and so was Tashi, the big boss. I do feel that the Bengali Brothers should have been given a little more screentime.

Many people say the climax is ludicrous. I didn't think it was ludicrous while watching the movie. Director had me convinced about the ending. All 'kamineys' getting what they deserve. After all, movies are about make belief. It would be extremely hypocritical of Bollywood to say that the movie is unrealistic. Case in point: I would be fucking mad to make a list!

Verdict?

A solid movie. Vishal Bharadwaj has done a wonderful job. This is no Omkara or Blood Brothers, still its awesome in its own right. Personally, its been long time since a Bollywood movie appealed to me. I would rate it 8/10. Go watch it, if you haven't. No one has rigged the reviews!

P.S: Mr Bharadwaj? You know my bank account number right?